So, before the big crash of ‘09 I did an interview with my college newspaper. The article appeared somewhere in november ‘09 and I realised I’ve never put the picture and article up here.

Bad Seska!

At the botom of this post I’ll attach the picture and original article. It’s in Dutch and right now I’m too lazy to translate it, sorry about that for you non Dutchies.

Last week I got contacted by the same college paper and they asked me to participate in a special issue they are releasing about Taboo’s.
A friend of mine will be talking about BDSM and they asked me if I am willing to talk about being polyamorous. Since I love grabbing any opportunity to enlighten the students of Amsterdam ofcourse I said yes.

The interview is tomorow and I’m hoping it will break some more ground for the non conventional relationships that this planet inhibits

Ze heeft thuis geen donkere tochtige kerker waar ze mensen vastbindt, mocht men dat denken. Maar als ze het geld zou hebben, zou een landhuis ergens in het voormalige Oostblok best een optie zijn om zich daar op haar bdsm-passie te storten, zegt Seska.

‘Een passie voor bdsm – bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadisme and masochisme – is natuurlijk van een heel andere orde om eens gezellig te bespreken met je collega’s dan kantklossen of treintjes verzamelen. Ik ben er vrij open in, maar loop er niet mee te koop in
mijn omgeving. Maar ik doe dit omdat ik bdsm uit dat typische Jambers-sfeertje wil halen; het heersende beeld is toch dat het een ranzig wereldje is, vol enge types in leer.

Dat ik “kinky” ben en niet “vanilla” – zo noemen we liefhebbers en niet-liefhebbers in bdsm-termen – weet ik vanaf mijn puberteit. Ik liep met mijn zus rond in Amsterdam. We hadden een uurtje over en besloten een bezoekje te brengen aan het Torture Museum. Zij vond het allemaal maar luguber en freaky. Mij fascineerde het geweldig. Ik dacht nog: ik zal wel een kronkel in mijn hoofd hebben. Maar na een rondje op internet en een later vriendje die ook bdsm-minded was wist ik: dit is hoe ik ben. Vanilla-seks: prima, maar niet als enige optie.

De totale overgave, het gevoel van absolute macht die ik over de ander heb, dat geeft me een enorme kick. Dat ík bepaal wanneer iemand los mag en niet eerder, dat geeft mij een goed gevoel. Dat betekent niet dat bdsm zomaar even een potje afranselen is. Het is niet dat ik in de kroeg achteloos een praatje maak en dat we dan meteen gaan spelen. Daar gaat heel veel gepraat en zeer nauwkeurig overleg aan vooraf: hoe gaan we het doen, waar gaan we het doen en tot hoever gaan we. Vooraf nemen we ook het stop-woord door.
Dat is overigens bijna nooit “stop”, want dat roept iemand al vrij snel, terwijl men eigenlijk niet wil dat je stopt. Soms gebruik ik bijvoorbeeld een code als “aardbei”. Dan stopt alles direct. Meteen.

Binnen bdsm ben ik vooral gericht op ‘impact play’ – dat wil zeggen: het zweepgebeuren. Een van mijn pronkstukken is een zelfgemaakte zweep van de rubberen binnenband van mijn fiets. Dat was nog best even knutselen. Het is best een dure aangelegenheid, mijn kast puilt uit van de leren handboeien en zwepen en laatst kreeg mijn vriend van mij een dwangbuis als verjaardagscadeau. Kettingen heb ik ook wel, maar die maken vaak zo’n herrie dat ik ze vaak maar laat voor wat ze zijn.’

After the big crash of ‘09 I never took the effort to re-upload my stories.
Mostly cause I couldn’t find half of them back on my clusterfuck of back ups (I need to organise that better, lol) and also cause I was lazy.

Anyway, I’ve recovered about 4 stories right now, of which 1 in Dutch. You can find em by looking under the Literotica drop down menu.

• Tomorrow's options: 1) do some school preparations that I've been postponing for far too long 2) go to work… Help me out here #
• And now it is time to snuggle up tightly with James T. Kirk. He's such a womanizer. And cross species too! #
• Writing a #postcrossing postcard to Netherlands through http://www.postcrossing.com #
• Writing a #postcrossing postcard to Russia through http://www.postcrossing.com #
• E. made a good point on how I should feel comfy to go to my doc when I need to. Not avoid 'm & b in pain unnecessarily. Changing docs 2day #
• Received a #postcrossing postcard from Netherlands – http://www.postcrossing.com/postcards/NL-301129 #
• Writing a #postcrossing postcard to U.S.A. through http://www.postcrossing.com #
• Back is killing me. Let's see how long I last today. Painkillers aren't really doing anything unfortunately. #
• And dutchies. Don't forget to vote today! #
• 1/2 It's a sad day. The PVV ('political' party in favor of excluding people based on race/religion) won a majority in my parents city… #
• 2/2 Cant wrap my head around why ppl would vote on a party bent on destroying a community that others have fought for in the past decades. #
• Being turned on and a strained back do not match up too well. Dear backpain, piss off. Regards, me. #
• JTK the kittycat is awesome. He's making me smile cause he's the unstealthiest ninja ever. I <3 the furbal. #
• Finally had around 6+ hours of sleep. Now to get out of bed and move around. There's a challenge for today. #
• Received a #postcrossing postcard from Croatia – http://www.postcrossing.com/postcards/HR-10951 #
• Received a #postcrossing postcard from Brazil – http://www.postcrossing.com/postcards/BR-93930 #
• Laying in bed waiting for the house to warm up. I need to do chores today even if my back is shit. Just one more hour of bed curling though. #
• I mis play parties / hanging out in the BDSM scene. Time to find stuff closer to home? Do I have the balls to hang out somewhere alone? #
• Jimmy smells like licorice. WTF does this cat do all day that makes him smell like that?! #
• Also: good night twitterellas en tweetorators! My soar yet recuperating back, licorice cat and a sextoy or 2 are snuggled into bed. *ZzZzZz* #
• That sounded more wrong then I thought. I'm not planning on combining them. Not yet that is. #
• One of my neighbors sings/prays/chants loud enough to be heard. He also does this at 4 am. Need to pinpoint which neighbor it is. #
• Today: shower, breakfast, blog, study, dinner, make out with lover once he gets here. Gently, cause of the back. How does gentle work again? #
• Hmm when do others consider their day as started? I usually don't start counting until I've gotten out of bed. #stupidshitithinkabout #
• Oh look it's #medusa #039;s trailortrash cousin! http://tweetphoto.com/13444712 #
• Dear mr. Chanting neighbor man. It's 8 am on a Sunday, some of us like to sleep in. Please stfu or go chant somewhere else. Thanks, me. #
• My back is still hurting. I realized I have a #hitachi that I could put on my back. It's helping, slightly. But it mostly makes me horny >.> #
• According to Red I have a pavlovian response to the hitachi's humming sound… He might be right. #

• Tomorrow's options: 1) do some school preparations that I've been postponing for far too long 2) go to work… Help me out here #
• And now it is time to snuggle up tightly with James T. Kirk. He's such a womanizer. And cross species too! #
• Writing a #postcrossing postcard to Netherlands through http://www.postcrossing.com #
• Writing a #postcrossing postcard to Russia through http://www.postcrossing.com #
• E. made a good point on how I should feel comfy to go to my doc when I need to. Not avoid 'm & b in pain unnecessarily. Changing docs 2day #
• Received a #postcrossing postcard from Netherlands – http://www.postcrossing.com/postcards/NL-301129 #
• Writing a #postcrossing postcard to U.S.A. through http://www.postcrossing.com #
• Back is killing me. Let's see how long I last today. Painkillers aren't really doing anything unfortunately. #
• And dutchies. Don't forget to vote today! #
• 1/2 It's a sad day. The PVV ('political' party in favor of excluding people based on race/religion) won a majority in my parents city… #
• 2/2 Cant wrap my head around why ppl would vote on a party bent on destroying a community that others have fought for in the past decades. #
• Being turned on and a strained back do not match up too well. Dear backpain, piss off. Regards, me. #
• JTK the kittycat is awesome. He's making me smile cause he's the unstealthiest ninja ever. I <3 the furbal. #
• Finally had around 6+ hours of sleep. Now to get out of bed and move around. There's a challenge for today. #
• Received a #postcrossing postcard from Croatia – http://www.postcrossing.com/postcards/HR-10951 #
• Received a #postcrossing postcard from Brazil – http://www.postcrossing.com/postcards/BR-93930 #
• Laying in bed waiting for the house to warm up. I need to do chores today even if my back is shit. Just one more hour of bed curling though. #
• I mis play parties / hanging out in the BDSM scene. Time to find stuff closer to home? Do I have the balls to hang out somewhere alone? #
• Jimmy smells like licorice. WTF does this cat do all day that makes him smell like that?! #
• Also: good night twitterellas en tweetorators! My soar yet recuperating back, licorice cat and a sextoy or 2 are snuggled into bed. *ZzZzZz* #
• That sounded more wrong then I thought. I'm not planning on combining them. Not yet that is. #
• One of my neighbors sings/prays/chants loud enough to be heard. He also does this at 4 am. Need to pinpoint which neighbor it is. #
• Today: shower, breakfast, blog, study, dinner, make out with lover once he gets here. Gently, cause of the back. How does gentle work again? #
• Hmm when do others consider their day as started? I usually don't start counting until I've gotten out of bed. #stupidshitithinkabout #
• Oh look it's #medusa #039;s trailortrash cousin! http://tweetphoto.com/13444712 #
• Dear mr. Chanting neighbor man. It's 8 am on a Sunday, some of us like to sleep in. Please stfu or go chant somewhere else. Thanks, me. #
• My back is still hurting. I realized I have a #hitachi that I could put on my back. It's helping, slightly. But it mostly makes me horny >.> #
• According to Red I have a pavlovian response to the hitachi's humming sound… He might be right. #

• Life is good. Sitting at the amstelkade looking at carre theater. http://tweetphoto.com/12459355 #
• OKCupid's data driven take on why men should broaden their horizon to include women older then them: http://bit.ly/bejGP9 (via @freaksexual) #
• Attempting to fire up the heater and do some drawing. GASP yes, drawing #
• Writing a #postcrossing postcard to Germany through http://www.postcrossing.com #
• fuck yeah HDMI cable from my xbox to the TV… Let's see how much it improves with that #
• Just reserved a ticket for the Lovely Bones tonight. Now to get dressed, which will prove interesting as everything is in the laundry :X #
• Movie didnt work out (couldn't find any pants). Now its shower time! & then I get 2 work on my evil runthrough of Dragon Age now w/ HDMI #
• Too cold to shower and the pipes are clogged again. So straight to bed it is! #
• Holy bejeebus! With the hdmi cable I can actually read the dragon age fonts without squinting or putting the sofa in the tv. Rejoice! #
• Did the groceries for only 3€. So fun when your empty bottle turn in is 5€ deducted from the bill. Now I have to install my laptop, again. #
• So, the Rescue disks, that I had to pay for, for my laptop aren't rescuing shit… Maybe just back to Linux on that machine? #
• Whoopdiedoo, it did take my Windows 7 backup! Now to sync up all the computers again… (Sometimes I love being a nerd) #
• This is probably the perfect time to update both my machines to W7… Wish me luck! #

• Free 2 tickets to tonights #lambofgod concert in the #melkweg Amsterdam. MSG or email miss.seska@gmail.com #
• Happy burpsday to meeeeee! Yup, 29… Last time I'll be a twentysomething person #
• P's body decided to go on strike. Sinus infection + Migraine = major ouchies… That means no golden chopsticks or imaginarium tonight. #
• Partly bums me out, but now I get to spend my day off lazy on the sofa finishing off my 'lawful good' run through 'Dragon Age: Origins' . #
• Next playthrough will be chaotic evil (and i'll make a mage, lol) wieeeeeh #

• Ulla popken DIAF. Your softcup bras suck balls. I can't find any bras in my size anymore and I need new ones that aren't 50€ each #

So, life has been treating me pretty okay.
Got word that I am in fact keeping my job for another year. A bit sad that I’ve had to spend 2 months of stress and emo-shit, but hey back to the grindstone I guess

C. left for Berlin with his beloved L. They are an awesome set and from the first reports I got in they are having a ’smashing’ time (har die har). Yes I miss him (and her for that matter, she’s AWESOME to hang out with) but I also feel that happiness is about freedom, and C. traveling is one of the greatest things I’ve ever experienced.
It will also give me an excuse to go to Berlin on a holiday, hahaha. I also want to visit some other friends who are stationed in Germany for the air force / army. I should probably start planning if I really want to do that though.

Went to IKEA last Monday and finally got some more little things I was ‘missing’. I’ve finished framing some ‘art’ I still had, and made my bedroom look a bit more decorated

I had this plan a while ago and tried to print a bunch of vintage BDSM, pin-up and porn pictures together with some cute sticker frames (also IKEA). Unfortunately my bedroom wall is so super grainy that the stickers wouldn’t take. I was pissed off and shelved the project . Recently I picked it up again. Scored some photo paper and the super cheap frames from IKEA and had a full night of crafting

Loving the result and I’m thinking of grabbing some more when I pass by again and fill up the wall There’s something so sexy and cute about vintage porn. And it also looks sort of ‘classy’ in a raunchy way. RAWR

Another frame was bought for a piece of art that I’ve bought on Etsy about a month or 3 ago.

A print from Jennifer Rodgers with a Steampunk Medusa. Yeah, I have a thing for Medusa Always loved the mythology behind her.

I’ve framed the piece and hung it on the same wall as Nancy Farmer’s ‘Medusa and the hairdryer’ that I’ve bought over a year ago.
I think I’ll start referring to that wall as the “Medusa Wall”. Let’s see how much more art and such I can find in that theme that pushes my buttons.

Other then that some smaller stuff, 2 boxes for both my painting and my make up brushes and stuff, lol.

I’m going to start making pics again soon. Need to ‘teach’ new photographer P. how to take a set of pics, hook up with D. for some more pics cause she’s a great photographer and I’ll be back in the saddle (or on the web, whatever you may).

Oh and I’ve gotten my Xbox It’s NOM and awesome and Lego Batman is oddly addictive!

• Gdi. Post coital insomnia… Sadbeans. #
• Sometimes I just love pissing off coworkersby bashing their skull in with the workprocesses. Teehee. #beingmean #
• Job interviews are awesome when you know you don't need the job per se! I nailed this, now to think if I actually want the job. #

• Blugh, I'm tired and cranky. Omw to work appointment and thinking about making it a short day. #
• Good news; just talked to my manager. My contract will be renewed for another year! 2 months of stressing just fell off of me. #
• The best and most passionate radio DJ in the Netherlands died due to a freak accident today. Arjen Grolleman, rock on, where ever you are. #