The Mono-Experiment

So, about a few months ago I started dating a guy that I actually rather like.
Went out a couple of times and he’s a great guy.
As always I’ve been up front about how my life works. The weird love life (I’m not only Poly, I’m also open, yes, I have fuckbuddies ), the kinks, the whole 9 yards.
He understands every bit of it but after a few weeks of dating we did have to address it. See, here’s where it gets sort of complicated; he’s mono and more vanilla then kinky (why do I keep falling for these guys!?).

We had a few talks and discussions about how this might work, since we really do like each other and I kept my foot straight. In the sense that I did not want to give in on my sex-life and that I still want to be able to do whatever I want in the BDSM-play sense as well.

After a shitty nights sleep we both made our decisions.

He decided to see how it goes and just deal with my way of life, including all the weirdness. Off course this made me giddy as a schoolgirl, since hey, I like this guy!

Apart from him I had also made a decision. I realized at night that it wasn’t fair to expect him to accept all of me unconditionally yet not respect his limits (since he’s mono). And I really wanted to find a middle ground that we could live with while we try and see where this is going.

The thing he has the most difficulty with is the sexual part. Which surprised me to be honest. I mean, I mostly hear people who can’t deal with poly relationships that they find it hard to deal with the fact that your partner is emotionally involved with more then just one person. The emotional and the BDSM he can deal with (save the sexual explicit things), but having to share me sexually would be more difficult.

Since I want to see how this could develop I decided I could go sexually mono for this guy in the beginning of whatever this is going to be (I don’t like labeling it as a relationship). Sounds logical right?

Right?!

A big decision and right now I’m starting to realize it might not have been the best I’ve ever made.
Yeah, only 2 weeks into this decision I’m already finding out this is something I’m just not cut out to be. Or maybe I don’t want to be cut out for this which is highly plausible.

So I guess there will be yet another serious talk in my near future and it might even end something that I was hoping could work.