Recently a friend of mine pointed me towards a interesting link with a diverse collection of Male Submission Images.
It’s a Tumblr blog that’s being updated by the ever awesome maymay who also hosts the hilarious (and very informative!) podcast: Kink on Tap.

So much eye candy but some of the images just spoke more and I wanted to figure out why.

In an effort to explain the sexiness I present you with some of my brain droppings on these awesome pictures, in no particular order.

A young boy, barely 25 probably listening to hipster indie music and wearing obscure t-shirts.
His hair, the glasses, the pretentious pin on his shirt, it all screams ‘emo’ to me. I don’t mind the indie / emo crowd, but this guy has an aura of pretentiousness over him that makes me want to face slap him until he jizzes his pants.

What I love about this image is quite simple: His look of ‘I disagree but dammit I don’t have any say in this’, the tape over his mouth telling us all what he should be thinking / saying and the noose around his neck.
This kid knows he fucked up and that he’ll have to take the consequences, he’ll take them in pride though and that’s something I love seeing in a submissive.

I’ve come to realize that as far as titles go within BDSM I probably feel most at home being called Miss or Sir. Yes, I know that I don’t have a penis, bust it’s just so damn sexy to have a guy call a girl Sir, purely cause she’s above him in the food chain.

A girl straddling a bound guy on a chair. It looks as if she’s nibbling his neck or maybe she’s whispering threats up his neck into his ear. With one hand she’s holding a paintball gun to his head. Read the rest of this entry »

Last friday when I came home from a shopping spree  I found a little note in my postbox: The mailman had come by with a parcel from Germany.
I pretty much shrieked with joy and was a bit pissed off at the same time.
Technically the post is supposed to offer a parcel twice, if they don’t find you at home in the first time they offer it the next day and if you’re not home then, they drop it off at a postal point.
Thing is those aren’t usually open in the weekends so I was a bit miffed that I couldn’t pick up my cuffs ‘n collar straight away.
Some people suggested I should just try at the post point on Saturday and WOOHOOOOO Succes

At the German Fetish Fair in May I met the awesome Matthias Füchs from Nonón de Florette.
He makes beautiful BDSM-attributes, jewelery and furniture and I decided to spoil myself with a set of his cuffs and a matching collar.
He made them to my measurements (which he took at the fair) and I am still stunned with the way they look, feel, smell and wear.

The system he uses in his materials is awesome and it all fits on to each other (say if you want to add a spreader bar, it will easily clip into the screw on system he uses) without getting that clunky IKEA feel to it. It works by securing the leather with a screw. I got 3 ring screws and 1 little ball screw (just to make the collar look purdy). If I want the collar to be useful I can just screw off the ball and add a ring.

Yes I’m a huge fan and I’ll stay one for a long long time.

After Daria’s lamenting over her clothes for the Fetish Ball in Hamburg I decided to pull all my clothes out of the closet tonight and see if the picture I had in my head would match the one in reality.
As it so often happens, it didn’t, lol.
I’m glad I did this fitting thing today though and not hastily before leaving or, as initially planed, not at all.

See the initial plan was my white / black leather corset with a ballerina skirt thingy.
Basically the skirt I wore for the photo shoot with the college newspaper a while back [clickety].
I shall show you pics and I’ll elaborate (cause people really care about this shit yo!).
Side-note before I start: I’m not wearing make up, didn’t do my hair and I’m still wearing my leggings and socks.
It’s in no means a real representative of what I’m hoping to achieve

The Initial Plan:
My White leather corset.I love this corset a lot but for some reason I just don’t feel secure enough in wearing it in a room filled with strangers. It might be the fact that my chestfat (no not my boobs) tried to peek out at the sides, or it’s the fact that this corset is still sooooo rigid that I can hardly move in it. I’m settling on a combo of those two though.
Note how I’m attempting to smile on the pic and my face just says it all, lol.

The back up plan:
I thought about my Hello Kitty dress but I’m very uncertain about that.
I feel at home in the outfit and submissive and such, there’s still a chance I might pack it. The main reason I don’t want to take the HK combo is because I have been asked to leave a party while wearing it before. Yes, that’s a while back but if a semi professional party has issues with it, then there’s is a pretty big chance that a level styled party has major issues with it. And I really don’t feel like going through that hell again (or putting Daria and Jeri through it again, once is enough).
Ironically enough the person that excluded me from a party because of the HK dress is also going to Hamburg. Would be funny to just wear it and go sit close to her to be annoying, lol.

The New plan:
After looking at all my corsets I realized I could wear my Red n Black one! Yes yes a cliche combo but I don’t care. I love this little thing I feel devious and sexy in it and I still have room to move The big difference with the leather one is basically that I don’t feel like a meatblob in leather. Fuckyeah, decision is made!

I need to stop putting my hands in my sides, it makes my arms look redonkulous. No clue what happened tonight but I forgot all rules regarding to picture posing, hahaha.

I also wanted something more comfy, just in case I switch (zomg!) or in case I’m sick of the corset (my max time in wearing them lays around 3 – 5 hours in a row). I rediscovered a lovely leather top I have never worn outside the house, lol. Mostly because I felt I looked to blobby in it. Don’t know what happened, but I didn’t feel blobby at all while wearing it tonight, so it’s probably coming with as a backup. Yeah it has less shape then the corset, I’m fat, deal with it.

After checking the website of the Sweet Surrender party I think I might be fine wearing my HK outfit. We’re going to Germany for fucks sake, land of fucked up porn and awkward fetishes. They of all people should be able to understand a little girl dress (I mean, who am I kidding, it’s ageplay, yes I feel like I’m 7 in it. Suck it Trebeque).

And then I decided to try on my little tophat and It’s so cuuuuuuuuute! Piccies below (also a pic of me in P’s Fedora. He thinks I can pull it off, I think I look like a maffia mutant experiment on absinthe).

This past weekend I’ve had the great opportunity to hang out with lovely people, meet some friends I’ve never before seen and make new friends at the same time! All in all it was a quite hectic but really good weekend in all!

Most interesting was how all of the conversations coming in and going out went through a filter in my head. I’m starting to piece together the weird puzzle of my submissive side.

One of the new friends I met this weekend actually put a LOT of the issues I have with my submissive side (and finding a Dominant that matches). In about 2 hours he pretty much managed to sum up the source of the problem; I’m an Alpha Female.

In all we agreed in something comprehendable as a description: The Alpha Female is a woman that is strong, confident and makes a impression. She takes charge and can be an inspiration on different levels.

I’ve only come to terms with being Alpha about a year or 4 ago, when I finally shed the skewed relationship I was in and started to accept who I am and celebrate life. My Dominant side has most certainly developed a ton in that time. I am confident, sexy, in control, self-aware and I radiate all of these qualities.

It comes naturally to me to make people follow, respect and obey me. Mind you, I don’t mean this in a derogatory way! It’s just a thing I do, and people accept (and expect?) it of me.
Yes I value and respect others a lot, but when it boils down to leadership, I am one of the people who feels taking charge is a logical and normal thing to do for themselves. I’m good at it, I can steer people in the right direction and I can respectfully correct them if needed.

This Alpha-ness (for lack of a better term) is something I also have in relationships. Now as the case if with BDSM it seems like a friggin nightmare for me to find a Dominant that I find ‘acceptable’ as a partner in crime. I couldn’t place my finger on the why or how, but after this weekend, I think I know why.

As a Alpha, I need to have an Alpha that will be the boss of me.
Someone I look up to, not because (s)he is my Dominant, or because I want to. Those things are too ‘easy’.
I need to look up to the Dominant party because that’s what/who they are.
They have to be Alpha over me. For me to submit to someone, I need to know they are my superior.
And that’s where my issue resides; I have never met anyone who is qualified for that job.

There are some people I consider very very close to being Alpha over me, but they are not available as a BDSM partner, so not interesting in this context.

Nope, it’s not about Star Trek.

So, let’s say you’re a submissive guy, looking for a Dominant woman and you stumble over my profile on say, fetlife or collarme. Something catches your attention, maybe a picture, or my profile text.

Unfortunately I’ve noticed lately that just the sheer fact of being a chick and identifying as Dominant is enough for most men…

Now I know that you’re dieing to know what you should do to ensure that I will not send you any response back.
So here you go, a easy step by step guide on how to make sure that your First Contact with me (or most Dominants for that matter) will be a total and utter failure:

1) Whatever you do, do not read my profile.
If you would read my profile you would know more about me and where is the fun in that?! If you read my profile you might actually be able to take some interest in me beyond that of me as a distant lust-fed fantasy. Next to that my profile probably holds some information on what I and am not looking for. Make sure you ignore these ‘minor details’ since they will just hold you back in writing a message.

2) Make sure that you address me as ‘Mistress, Mrs, Ma’am, Queen, Amazone Warrior Princess’ or the dutch equivalents (Meesteres, Mevrouw, etc).
Addressing me in that way will make me think less of you, in the bad way. Respect (and the title going with it) is something that is earned. I’ll tell you how I want you to address me if we even get to that point. Odds are, if you called me Mistress in the first message, that we won’t get to that point.

3) Tell me a random fantasy you have about you and me, describe it in detail and be specific on how horny you get from it.
The only thing this does is show me how desperate you really are… I get it, life is rough as a single submissive guy, but don’t push your fantasies onto me straight away. Fantasies are usually better being just that, a fantasy. besides, topping from the bottom is not cool.

4) Do not write a creative message.
Please do copy and paste your standard desperate slaveboy message. I can tell that you’ve just altered the names and hit send to me and about 30 other Dominants within 2 minutes to spread your winning chance. Thing is, a impersonal copied message does not sell you as a person at all.

5) End the message with ‘your slave, humbly yours’ or other possessive  descriptions.
By ending the message in that way, you are assuming I even want you. Never assume. Also, it makes you look like that ridiculous kid in the classroom that tries to hard to be liked and ends up being ignored by everyone.

There you go, 5 easy steps to creating a winning instance of first contact!