Kink 'n' Ink

In roughly 51 hours it’s 2011.
Which leaves me just that amount of hours to look back on 2010.
A year with ups and downs but in all a year that ended quite well for me.
I learned a lot, taught others a lot and really came that much closer to how I want my life to be.

[...]

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
- Buddha

“It was like summer camp, when it started, I didn’t know my place and if I’d fit in.
When it ended I just didn’t want to go home.”
- Seska

The quotes above just describes the entire experience I had yesterday during the The Usual Suspects Unconference (TUS).

First of all a HUGE thanks to the facilitators of what I can already call the best conference I’ve ever been to in my life up till now (TUS 2011 might beat it, hahaha).
Second a HUGE thanks to all the people that where there during the day, I think it was a grand total of around 50 / 60 people that participated and I feel proud and honored to have been one of you guys.

[...]

So, the talk was talked…

And we decided to part ways on the road of lurve (does that sound corny?).
It’s a bit painful especially since I really liked this guy, but I know I just can’t do it.
He had the same issue, noticed I was a bit reserved and after about an hour of talking we decided to just remain friends and watch gorey horror together. We’ll see if that even happens, but at least there’s clarity now.

Yes, it hurts, but I’ll survive.

So, about a few months ago I started dating a guy that I actually rather like.
Went out a couple of times and he’s a great guy.
As always I’ve been up front about how my life works. The weird love life (I’m not only Poly, I’m also open, yes, I have fuckbuddies ), the kinks, the whole 9 yards.
He understands every bit of it but after a few weeks of dating we did have to address it. See, here’s where it gets sort of complicated; he’s mono and more vanilla then kinky (why do I keep falling for these guys!?). [...]

As I said before, I suck at updating.

No, that’s not it. I just don’t know if I can update some of the things that happen in my life.
As rediculous as it sounds I keep writing blog entries that end up not getting posted because I just don’t feel comfortable sharing the contents with some people. I should probably look into posting them private, cause I miss not having my life on paper.

Partially I found a great little replacement in twitter to just update on the fly, but all those great blog ideas and the huge back stories the updates have just get lost on the huge information overload.

Recently I discovered that even people who have an open mind to alternative lifestyles can be belittling and harsh about the choices I make in life. It kinda hit home and I really don’t like it, but I can’t expect everyone to accept my way of life.
On the other hand, it’s a matter of respect. You don’t have to agree with me or anything, just don’t judge my life because it’s not the way you would live it.

This personal filter I put up on myself (and my blogging) is really bugging me, so I think I’ll just go ahead and ignore it from now on. If people don’t like what they read, they can always just ignore it and be done with it. There is no way in life to please every single person
And in the end, I only need to please myself